The year was 1993 and I was in a puddle of tears - heartbroken once again due to another failed relationship.
In the depths of my sorrow, something unexpected stirred inside me—a glimmer of truth, fluttering quietly through the pain. It felt like a golden thread I could grasp if I dared to reach for it.
In that moment, I realized I had a choice. I could fall back into the old, familiar belief that I was inadequate , that I was unlovable, and that’s why he left. Or… I could choose a new way of seeing things. I could believe that each heartbreak held a lesson. I could trust that I was worthy of love, exactly as I was. And I could use this painful experience to better understand myself and what truly mattered to me in a partner. I’m so glad I chose that path.
Two short years later I met the man that I would marry. But before that could happen I needed to learn a new, really important lesson.
One day I came across an analogy that changed the way that I thought about love. It compared a relationship to glasses of water. Many people see themselves as half a glass of water looking for another person to complete them. Two halves create a full glass. That was me.
The article went on to explain that the healthiest relationships are created when both individuals feel like full glasses of water - Each person feels whole within themselves. They know how to handle their emotions. They know what brings them joy. They're not perfect, but they realize that it's up to them to do the work. They take responsibility for their own growth and happiness.
So I went to work. I learned how to love and care for myself. This took many forms. I learned how to eat correctly, strengthened my relationship with Spirit and learned how to be happy as an individual. I did the work and it eventually led to me meeting the amazing man that I married.
That work hasn’t stopped. In fact, it’s the foundation of the loving relationship we’ve built. I believe that learning more about loving others and loving ourselves is what we're here to do. It is our mission.
Every relationship in my life has the potential to teach me more about love and to help me to grow. The healthier I feel inside, the more I can give wholeheartedly to others. The more I learn to give and receive love in my relationships, the more whole I feel. It is a beautiful circle.